Week 3 at Hawthorne

I was very happy to see Corey walk into the classroom as our third week at Hawthorne began. It had been a long time since we last saw each other and I was really looking forward to getting started. At the same time, it felt like we were starting over in a way.

Our time at Hawthorne began with Corey's teacher stressing the importance of identifying goals for the remainder of our time working with our students. Once Corey and I got settled in the computer lab, I asked him if he had thought about what he wanted to get out of this experience. His response was quite simple: he wants to get better at writing. Things hadn't changed since our first session, when he told me that he wanted help in organizing his ideas more effectively and picking up any tips on improving the presentation of his work (formatting, editing, etc.)

We jumped right into our work. Corey is working on a persuasive piece arguing that pre-ordering video games has had a negative impact on gaming culture. It's obvious that he's passionate about the subject (and has perhaps been previously disappointed in a game after it's been hyped up in ads).

To help Corey better organize his ideas, I brought in a Persuasion Map handout for us to work with. The first step was identifying his position. Then, we pulled up his piece on his laptop (I had also brought in two copies of it to work with, but he preferred working on his computer) and began deconstructing! Because his writing was not structured properly (no paragraphs/separation of ideas), he found it difficult to clearly identify his reasons (the handout calls for 3). Instead, we decided to work backwards and pick out the supporting evidence he had and grouping them into two categories (which would be his reasons). Once we did this, his two reasons were labeled.

Now that we had a basic outline to Corey's piece worked out, we worked on creating an introduction (which he didn't have originally and he has admitted to not being strong at creating). I provided him with a sample introduction, which showed him out, in its most basic form, the introduction is used to give the reader context to the argument to follow and provide a thesis statement.

Corey's passion really comes through in his recollection of different games or reviews that lend themselves to his reasons for arguing against pre-ordering games. However, none of them are supported with actual evidence. I suggested he do some research and find evidence on websites that support his claims. With the little time we had left, we began brainstorming where he could find this evidence (primarily in video game reviews and industry websites).

As our session came to an end, I asked Corey to take some time before Monday to find some type of supportive evidence for each of his six pieces of his claims and plug them into his Google Doc so I could check on his progress. In our fourth and final session, I plan to work with Corey on creating the first of his body paragraphs, including using topic and transition sentences, and how to properly use evidence in support of claims (i.e. state your claim, use your evidence, explain it). If we have time left, I want to touch on how to write a conclusion (since he's admitted to also having problems there) and hope that our work on the first body paragraph will be enough to help him write the rest of his piece on his own. I will also be giving him a sheet with basic editing tips to help him clean up his work.

Very excited to continue this process next week!